My knees weaken so much that I had to sit on the floor surrounded by my scattered pairs of panties.
I had it coming.
Now I'm dead.
It took me a few moments to get myself together enough to be able to tidy up the mess I'd made. All my movements were stiff and automatic and my heart couldn't stop pounding. I was like in a trance.
That evening I didn't go downstairs for dinner. I was too afraid to see any of my brothers, especially the one who discovered my misdeed. I didn't even know when that gun had disappeared. Was it today or yesterday? And who did it?
Those questions were bothering me for half of the night. I had the feeling that in any moment someone would enter my room and hurt me, yell at me or, I don't know, maybe just kill me... That's actually the nightmare I had. A very short one. I had to kiss Vince's signet and Dylan stood next to me, holding me at the gunpoint. I woke up when he shot.
Breakfast was torture. Firstly, Tony and Shane came. They behaved usual as always, so I felt a bit of relief, but then I saw Dylan. He fixed a long glance at me but didn't say a word. He focused on brewing his morning coffee. I was chewing my food, all tensed. But nothing happened.
Next, Will came. He was serious, but he greeted me and get to the coffee maker. I'd been wondering earlier if I could talk to him about this problem. He and Shane were the kindest of my brothers. Will was also the second oldest one and that is why I thought that he could be the right person to help me. Later, I changed my mind. He is still one of the Monets brothers. He protects their secrets as much as the others. And just like the others, he won't like what I did.
I landed in a car with Shane and Tony. They were talking about some night out, something that didn't relate to me, so I could be silent in peace.
"You're not serious." gasped Mona at lunchbreak with her eyes widened. The same reaction to my story as Audrey's and Marshall's.
"Someone had to come to your room when you weren't there and take it!" deduced Marshall.
"No shit, Sherlock, and I thought that it just vanished into thin air." murmured Mona ironically.
"But someone would talk with you about it, wouldn't they?" asked Audrey, frowning.
"I don't know what to think. I couldn't sleep at night, I didn't go downstairs to have dinner... I'm scared." I admitted.
"Maybe it's this housekeeper...?" prompted Marshall.
I wondered. Was it possible? Eugenie had access to any room in our house. Even to the working part. But could she really be the one who took the gun? It didn't make any sense, did it?
"What if they're playing with you?" Audrey questioned quietly.
Her words made me shiver. All of us, at the same time, looked at the table occupied by my brothers. The three of them were guffawing wildly right now.
"What do you mean?" I asked deafly, not wanting to know the answer at all.
"That they're playing a game with you."
I bit my lips, panicked when I understood how plausible this theory was.
"But they're going to destroy my mental health!" I moaned, hiding my face in my hands.
"Just play along with them... Pretend that nothing happened." shrugged Marshall.
"How? I am not even able to face them! Besides, I feel that this way they're always going to be one step ahead of me..."
"Of course, they are! There are five of them, you're just one. They are older, you're their 'little sis'. They are known as bad boys and you're 'Miss Perfect', basically a nerd, you know." counted Mona.
"And they are the ones in charge of you. Not the opposite," added Audrey.
I leaned back in my cafeteria chair, trying not to cry. I knew all of it before, but when I heard it from the others now, said out loud... Well, I understood how defenseless I am.
"What can I do then?" I sighed.
"Play a good, obedient sister, just as they want it." answered me Audrey, shrugging.
Later they tried to cheer me up by repeating that it's not that bad and everything's going be alright. I knew they were just empty words that sound nice but don't reflect the reality. No matter how much support I got from my friends, after school I was alone. Just me versus my brothers.
My fear became a little paranoia and I was curious if it was visible... For example, when in the kitchen Will was making himself a sandwich, I couldn't stop staring at the knife in his hands. Or when Tony and Shane were playing some shooting game, I flinched every time I heard a gun. Or when I saw Dylan in his sweated T-shirt, who came back from his training, showing off his threatening, dangerous body. It was just Vince, who I didn't see around too much.
But I met him on Saturday. I decided that it was time for me to relax a bit and take advantage of the TV. Eugenie made a fruit salad for me and I just laid on the sofa and turned on some Spanish series on Netflix. For the whole morning, I've seen only Tony and Shane who were passing me when they went out to terrace to have a cigarette.
I was totally absorbed with the movie when Vince appeared at my side out of nowhere. I jumped when he spoke my name, drawing my attention. I stopped the show right away and focused on what he wanted to tell me. The last time I saw him for a longer period of time was when I spied on him...
"I want to show you something." he announced and sat next to me. I straighten, making some space for him and couldn't stop wondering what, for God, Vince wants me to see. Then I noticed an Ipad in his hands.
He was very close to me and Vince being so close always made my body tense nervously in a discomfort. He, on the other hand, was totally relaxed. Full of elegance, as always. He gave me his tablet and immediately pushed the play button.
I concentrated on the screen, trying to figure out what is that he's showing me. Some room, shot from upstairs, from a weird angle... A couch, corridor, lamps...
I froze and my heart stopped.
That's when some girl showed up on the screen and it took me two seconds to understand it was me. I looked at the doors, then at the sofas, then again at the doors and I hid, running away from the camera's eye. But it was obvious I was still there.
I was starting to shiver. Vince's closeness wasn't helping me to calm down. I felt his smell, I was sure, he was watching my reaction.
I knew, what was going to be next, but I kept watching it. Vince came out of the room with this man with a hoarse voice. There was no sound. A man bowed. Kissed the signet. Another one came. They left together. Vince was alone. Then he took out his phone.
The real Vince leaned towards me and said in slowly and icy voice:
"That's when one of my people, a guard, called me and told me that some little girl is sitting behind the couch on my left."